It's been a weird couple of weeks. Here's an update. Warning: I'm still a little drug-headed so this may come off as even more confusing.
My sweetheart turned 39 on Valentine's Day. We took the long weekend off and went to SoCal to see Grady, visit Jay's mom & dad, go to Ruby's (of course), and take a deep breath of the ocean air before the full brunt of tax season hits. Jay's mom is doing much better now that chemo is over and she's about 1/2way through with radiation. Grady is just as adorable as the pics I see and such a charmer-that kid-I'm tellin ya, he could ask me for anything and smile and he'd get his way.
..anyway.... while we did have a nice relaxing couple of days, Jay's Grandma died that weekend too. We headed home for Jay to prepare the eulogy and me to practice the 3 hymns I know so I could play the piano at the funeral the next weekend. We were back in the car 4 days later, back to SoCal, I think the car drove itself. All went well and the funeral was very nice. The drive home seemed extra long. (BTW, during these cross-desert trips, Eric got his first experience at driving 80 mph... hahahahah) In between all this Jay had bronchitis, Rebekah got cut from the jr high softball team (very traumatic), Eric's been coughing up major lung-butter, I've had to go back to the head doc for a med check, breathe, plus regular life. Today I was at the pediatrician's TWICE. Something that hasn't been done in YEARS at our house. It turns out that Eric's cough is just allergies, so he has to take claritin and shoot some saline up his snoot. David pulled his groin muscle today playing football at recess, so at 5:00 we were back at the doc to make sure it wasn't a hernia (major trauma). It's just a pulled muscle but it's bad enough that he can't play baseball next week, so he's REALLY ticked.
Life at our house is never stand-still. There is always chaos and a lot of the time there is drama/trauma too. When was the last time that everyone at your house was home in time for dinner, which was homemade, sat at the dinner table, had a nice conversation without anyone yelling or accusing someone of being "stupid" (or gay, or lame, or...whatever), and then you all just had a nice relaxing evening at home? No one had to be anywhere in particular, homework got done, watched a little tv together, everyone went to bed on time with a smile on their face and a happy feeling in their heart. HAHAHAHAHA. never. at least not that I can remember.

Teen Dance Conversations

The annual Valentine's Day dance was last night. Our church holds one every year for kids 12-18 from all around the area. (In Mormon speak: the stake, aka about 4 high schools area worth) This is the text conversation I had with my 12 year old boy...who was not excited about the dance.
12: (an hour into the dance, only 30 min left) There is so many ugly people here and they have only played one slow song.
M: Just be a nice guy. If you don't find your loser this time, it will be okay:) Tough it out!
12: I just danced
12: What time is this thing suppose to be over?
12: Her hand was so sweaty.
12: ok, it's over.
Doesn't that just take you back to the day? Sweaty hands, nerves, I wouldn't repeat it again for all the money in the world.
It might also help you to understand the above conversation a little if you know our family "rules" when it comes to a dance. The boys WILL dance with at least one "loserish" girl (their term, I just said someone who no one else has or probably will dance with) and they must say yes to all dance requests. The girls WILL say yes to all dance requests (unless they ask for more than 1). 12, being the A type personality, black and white - no gray area, rule following guy was all worried. First, how embarassing. I mean, really! Second, that the only slow dance he'd have to dance with a weirdo. After picking up the kids, 13 informed on her little brother. His 'loser' wasn't even ugly and not very loser-y. 12's comeback: her hands were all sweaty and her hand kept slipping. I asked big 15 who he danced with. It turns out that he disobeyed. (surprise!) The first slow song, he asked a girl to dance who no one else was dancing with. She just happened to be HOT (his words).
Does anyone else have these "rules" for their kids and dances?

Testing a Slideshow

My attention span is about 5 minutes these days. I'm trying to figure out this photoshop stuff. This is a test....and only a test:)

WooHoo! It kinda worked. Only my crazy boys would actually go surfing over Thanksgiving. Brrrrrrr. You'd think they were from Wisconsin or something. Nope, just the desert. And anytime they can jump in the ocean they will.

Lack of Photos

For Christmas, Jay got me this digital scrapbooking program along with Adobe photoshop. Well, I'm still trying to figure it out...apparently it takes more than 5 minutes at a time. go figure. One of these days I'll post some pics, I promise. In the meantime, does anyone have any digital scrapbooking tips?

Reconfigured

I went to my head doc today and my meds are all being reconfigured. He warned that it'll be a rocky couple of weeks. Great. But, he also said that there are lots of meds out there that I haven't tried and there is no reason to feel like I'll never get better. (which is how I feel... my life will always be this roller-coaster of depression and 'functioning well') (it also made me think... super. this might not work and we have to start again.. yipee) I have watched every single TV special, read at least 10 books on Bipolar/Depression. I have read article after article. I have tried, and tried, and tried some more. This sucks so bad. It is so hard to not be lazy. It is so hard to just keep trying to get better. It's just so draining. It takes all I can do to just get by...do the bare minimum. I don't want to air out too much of my laundry here, but I just want to yell a huge ARGGHHHHHHHHHHH! Remember that old commercial.... "Calgon, Take Me Away!"

He passed!!!!!

Eric took his driver's permit test today and PASSED. First time. He said that all of his friends had to take it at least twice, so, he's even more stoaked. I feel old... but really excited for him at the same time. If you find yourself driving anywhere near my neighborhood, BEWARE. Wish me patience. We're gonna need it.

***THIS JUST IN: We've been out for "lessons" twice and there have been no fender-benders, crashes, yelling, or tears. Lots of laughing, but mostly smooth sailing. I only slammed on the "imaginary brake" a couple of times:) I have purposely NOT yelled what my Dad yelled to me on our first "lesson". "Holy Crap! You're gonna kill us all!" My goal is "drama free".

Proud, Frustrated, and Opinionated

These are the mommy feelings of the week.

I am so proud of Eric and how good is he doing right now. It's like a light went on in his head and all the nagging about how grades count and the attitude you portray at practice counts, and sometimes you need to just give things a chance.... all that crap....now it's clicking. He's doing great in school, great in wrestling-one of the team leaders, and is one of the captains of the football team for next year. I think he's finally coming into his own. However, I am a realist and recognize that he is still a teenager and more pitfalls are to come, but for right now-I am so proud of the guy he's turning into.

The frustration comes from my lovely daughter. The mom vs. teenage daughter crap has officially begun. I kinda feel sorry for her future kids. She's gonna be a NAG. Man... it's like she's second guessing how I run the house, how I parent, like she's MY mom. What's up with that? If I'm not home when she gets home, I immediately get a text asking me where I am and when I'm coming home. The other day I was on my way to Costco and she texted me to see if I remembered the list and that we needed milk. Well, I of course had the list, and knew that we needed milk-she's the one that wrote it on there! Besides, we ALWAYS need milk. (6-8 gallons a week). While I don't like to be on the receiving end of her mommy-in-training-ness, I am proud to see that she is learning how to manage a household. She is extremely caring and wants to know where everyone is all the time because she has a natural nurturing sense. It's just kind of weird to have someone vying for my position as queen on the house:) So, I may be frustrated with her growing up, I am proud too.

I am opinionated about LOTS of things. This week I am especially irritated with the sport of wrestling. Granted, I hate the sport-but it is good for my boys. That's a whole other vent session - I think I've done that one before. Anyway, wrestling is primarily a boys sport where they try and pin each other using leverage, throws, blah blah blah. Occasionally, we see girls at tournaments. At first I was like...well, if they really want to and are willing to be treated as equal and such then hey, go for it. Then my son had to wrestle a girl at the conference championships. This particular girl has been wrestling with the boys since she was 4 and her Dad has been one of the head coaches for their school for the past 5 years. She has no problem being one of the boys. Good for her. However, when 12 year old girls and 12 year old boys wrestle, it's gonna be awkward. See... she's got boobs. And 12 year old boys are taught not to touch girls in certain places. If he were to get her into a particular hold, his face would be right next to the other place that boys aren't suppose to touch. This all makes the boy very nervous. So, long opinionated story kinda-short.... David took 2nd place in the Middle School Conference Championships. Granted, he's in 6th grade and middle school is 7th and 8th grade. He took it pretty well, we just don't want to talk about it anymore. Little League try-outs are this weekend. That's a fine place for the girls to play the same sport with the boys. I just don't think that skin-tight spandex trying to pin someone of the other sex to the ground is appropriate. I think David would have DIED if he accidentally touched her somewhere he wasn't suppose to. He has a sister, he has no fear of hurting a girl...just those places....creepy....poor guy. I am really proud of how he handled the whole situation.

Well, that's the weekly rant. I am extremely proud of my kids. They are turning out quite nicely, thank you. I am frustrated by them growing up. I am a REALLY opinionated mom.