Parenting Theories

I have one parenting theory. Everyone pays for their childhood. It doesn't matter if you were a good kid or a bad kid. The fact is that every kid causes their parents worry and stress. Whatever your "thing" was, you're gonna pay for it.

For almost 15 years now, I've been raising myself in a boy's body. Boys are louder, more prone to anger bursts, and more apt to vocalize their general "pissed off-ness" than girls. They also don't think things through as well as girls. That's the only plus. They're easier to catch. I never did anything too bad as a kid, but I got into my fair share of trouble. Coming home late, not being exactly where I said I'd be, liking boys way too much. My son, the little pyro/evader of truth/girl crazy ball of testosterone, is making me OLD. I find myself physically checking up on him, calling other moms, snooping, etc. I hate that I have to, but at this point, my job as a mom requires it. This sucks. He also looks just like Jay did as a kid (which everyone tells him on a regular basis...which he loves). The only thing from Jay that we're paying for is his constant need to be playing a sport. That's no biggie.

For almost 13 years now, I've been raising a girl that's a combination of my grandma, my sister, a very little bit of me, with my husband's sense of humor. I don't understand what makes her tick. She likes boys, but not a lot. The ones she likes are kinda nerdy, but TOTAL mama's boys and extremely kind. She's georgeous, but doesn't know it (Jay doesn't want her to until she's at least 25). She doesn't like to read and HATES homework. She LOVES movies, talking, cooking, and watching EVERYTHING I do. Lately, she's my shadow. She loves kids and babysitting, but she is really small, so most people don't think she's old enough. Physically she's awkward, but is good at running. She can just go and go and go and go..... The hardest thing with her is that I don't know what's going on inside her head, and therefore, as she gets to be an older teenager, I won't know what she's thinking. Scary. She is quick-witted and not afraid to stand up for herself, especially with her brothers. The only reason I can think of that I'm raising a girl just like my sister is that I didn't understand my sister when we were kids and now have another chance to figure it out.

For 11 1/2 years, I've been Mom to a boy that's just like his Dad. We pay for Jay's childhood by watching the pain caused by not achieving perfection. He is nervous the night before a game, to the point of sometimes making himself sick. If he's not PERFECT at something, then he thinks he's a failure. It physically hurts to watch your child in so much emotional pain, brought on my himself, and not be able to ease it. I don't think I've ever told him to "try harder" at anything. He gets the "it's okay to not be perfect all the time" lecture, while the other two get the "you really need to do your best" lecture. It doesn't matter if it's school, sports, or chores. Black and white, no gray area. No creativity. Just right or wrong. I worry about how to deal with his oncoming teenage hormones and his need for perfection. All teens screw up. This kid is not going to deal with it well.

Upon realizing that I am paying for my childhood, and my husband's childhood, I also realized that I'll probably pay for my parenting someday, too. With grandkids. Watching your kids make the same mistakes you did, as a child, a teen, a young mom, etc. has to be one of the hardest things to see. Seeing yourself in all your imperfection is a very humbling experience, and also yet another way we "grow up".

Spring Break is no party for "the Mom"

Okay, it's not THAT bad, but close. Spring Break is like a preview to summer..... bored kids wanting to be entertained. No amount of planning is ever enough. Even when your kids are HUGE, they are still the same pain in the butt they were when they were toddlers at home all day. Just bigger pains in the butt, and their forms of entertainment cost more money. On Wednesday I took us for an excursion to the East Valley. First stop was Chandler, where there is a Ruby's at the mall. Nice mall..... better Cinnamon Roll French Toast. We usually only have this in CA, at the end of the Huntington Beach pier. This was totally worth the "cheat" factor on the diet. So good! I think I'll be dreaming about it for the next week! After my favorite comfort food, we attempted to go to Ikea..... but got lost and went for a "drive". We finally made it to Ikea, got the necessary shopping for picture frames and lamps done. The next stop was Mesa, home of Nielsens. Truly rounding out the "cheat" day on the diet, I had a grinder (yummiest sandwich ever) and split a concrete (a pint of chocolate frozen custard with Whoppers and extra hot fudge mixed in) with Bekah. Again, soooooo worth it. Since my kids are older now, especially the boys, life revolves around food. Thus this DAY filled around food was awesome. We haven't had food like this in a long time, so it was a real treat and worth the trip. Too bad we had to top if off with stir-fry at home for dinner:( Here's some shots of us Nielsens:

Look how much taller Eric is than me!...

Mmmmmmm....... chocolate!

Poor Jay is working his tail off right now (it's tax time). I don't think he missed being at Ikea though:)

On Sunday, we went to Julianne's for dinner. As soon as we got home from church, I had to start getting my part of the food together so we could be there on time. I didn't have time to change my clothes. I had on a new dress. I felt good. Apparently after all those teenage years not liking each other, we now have the same taste:

I knew I should have worn heels!

The food was yummy, the kids had fun, the day was a success. Now the kids are back to school and I am "recovering" by increasing my training intensity. I didn't lose any weight last week, but I didn't gain any either. Small victories. This weekend is my 5K training race. Wish me luck!

WooHoo! I'm Average!

The average Amerian woman is between a size 12 and 14. Until recently, I've been above that. However, after a year and a half of HARD work, I am officially average. WooHoo! This was no easy task, people. In order to get this far, I eat WAY too much protein for my liking, not enough carbs, and my beloved ice cream only once a week. I exercise WAY more than the average Joe. 2 strength training sessions and 5-6 45+ minute cardio workouts per week. Yikes! I only know ONE other person that exercises that much (my friend, Kami, the rock).

My official weight loss since I started the LONG journey, is 17 pounds and 6 inches each around my waist and hips. I'd go into how frustrating the scale's number is (definately not big enough), but this post is about celebrating my success. I only look at the positive things I do once in a while.... most of the time I'm bitching about how I just can't do things right. This is about recognizing that I did something good, and I'm still on the road to being thin and healthy (no detours, maybe a couple of side streets........in 18 months!).

I just realized that most of my blog is about talking myself into being a positive person again. HaHa. That's interesting. Who knows, maybe it'll work. I'll just say this: At one time in my life I was optimistic and cheerful.... just not so much in the last 10 years. Not at all in the last 5. If this "journaling", the meds, and exercise and nutrition, etc. doesn't work, nothing will. I am seeing progress....

Anyhoo............ for today..........Yea, me!

My TV Addiction

Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, Gray's Anatomy, CSI, Numbers, Two & 1/2 Men, etc., etc., etc.............Where are you!? The whole writers' strike really messed up my evening relaxation time. I miss my shows. It's pathetic, I know. But, I need to be able to shut my brain off and watch someone else's (made-up, good looking, unrealistic, dramatic) life. The reality shows just aren't cutting it. Bring on the new episodes!

One of my fave reality shows had the finale last night. Project Runway. I know we're not suppose to envy others & such, but come on. Heidi Klum. She is absolutely fabulous........the face, the hair, the body, the cool accent, she's even funny! To my disappointment, Christian won. I can't stand him. He grates on every nerve. I'll hand it to him that his designs were WAY over-the-top. But they're not wearable anywhere but the runway.....or by anyone. Even Victoria Beckam. If I see her on the red carpet wearing that awful feathered dress, I'll puke. Not to mention the champagne colored ruffled neck piece and huge hat! Gag! I would have voted for Rami, even though Jillian's collection would be easier to put into everyday, every woman clothes. A black cocktail dress with Rami's design, draped or woven, would be super cute. And realistic. Oh well. I'll definately be looking forward to next season.

While I'm waiting for new episodes of my favorite dramas and comedies (which there is a serious lack of these days), I have to go make sure my DVR is set to capture tonight's Survivor. And then watch Tuesday's Biggest Loser. I may be pathetic when it comes to "my shows", but I bet you are too.:)

Exploding Windows

My crazy Tuesday, Part 2.

I was driving on the freeway, went under an overpass. I heard a deafending crash. That's it. I turned to see shattered glass all over the seats and floor. The passenger side sliding-door window EXPLODED. I still can't figure out how it happened. There is no mark on the outside of the van. Did another car kick up a rock or something...and it just happened to hit my side window? Did someone throw something off the overpass? How did it hit my SIDE window? What if I had been half a second earlier? Would it have hit the passenger side front window-and sprayed glass all over me? Would I have crashed? What if it hit the windshield? Ughhh. So many questions. No answers. Very bizarre.

Jay had the window replaced today, so it's good as new and I'm back on the road. Just with a very perplexed look on my face.

A bat flew at my head!

Earlier tonight, I was sitting at my computer - minding my own business -

I see this dark thing fly by, just outside of my periferal (sp?) vision. In the milisecond it takes me to realize that some foreign beast is in my house, I scream, duck, and rush into the kitchen. I scream "There's a bat in the house!" to Rebekah, who is sitting in front of the tv. Then I see the flying rodent fly into the kitchen-at my head(!!!), then into the tv room, by Bekah's head!... I'm still screaming and running, while crouching. I run to the back door, fling it open (thinking that the bat will go out), then run out the front door. Rebekah was already outside, beating me by seconds. She's laughing.... I'm on the verge of terror. We stood in the middle of the cul-de-sac and tried to figure out how that thing got into the house to begin with. I realized that I left my cell phone inside. Jay and the boys were at baseball practice. "Crap! I have to go back in!". Thinking that maybe I was mistaken - I've never seen a bat around my house! - I VERY cautiously crouch/walk back into the house. There's a BAT flying around my kitchen! I saw it for sure! I grabbed my cell phone off the dining room table and RAN back outside. Here's my phone call:

"Jay! You have to come home NOW!"
"Why?"
"There's a BAT in the house!"
"What?"
"A BAT!" (yes, I'm screaming at him)
laughter "Are you sure?"
"Umm, yea. You can't make this stuff up."
"True." more laughter "We'll be right there."

Now Bekah and I are pacing up and down and all-around, watching the still open front door - in case the bat flies out.

I get a phone call.
Jay says "Are you kidding me?"
"NO! Are you almost here? We're not going back in there! We're standing in the middle of the cul-de-sac until you get here, and it's dead and gone!"
"We're almost there." (Now I hear Eric cracking up in the background.)
From the background, Eric says "Don't worry, Mom. I've got my bat." (more laughing)

They arrived.........not laughing any more-because of the look of panic on my face... but Eric really is carrying his Baseball bat.

They searched the entire house, room by room, closet by closet, TWICE, and didn't find it. They assumed it flew out the back door (still open). Not convinced, I make them go back a third time. Nothing. I still didn't want to go back in. We went to watch the rest of David's practice. When we got home, I made them check the house again. Nothing!

So here I am, back at my computer, hoping I don't see the flying creepy thing again. I'm sure it flew outside, but eeeeeeew! I've got the heebie-jeebies. My skin is crawling. I don't think that even Ambien will help me sleep tonight.

Oh yeah, and earlier this afternoon the window in my van exploded. On the freeway. Again, minding my own business. That's a whole different post. Maybe tomorrow. For today, even though it's Tuesday the 4th, it feels like Friday the 13th, and I'm ready for it to end.

Wish me sleep. I'll need it.

It's Official!

I registered for the first triathlon of the year. May 10, Tempe SheROX. 1/4 mile swim, 12 mile bike, 3 mile run. I've got 2 "training" races scheduled, too. Mar 29 5K and Apr 17 Splash 'n Dash (swim/short run). These two races serve 2 purposes. The first is just plain practice. The second is to complete a goal I set last year. Before my first triathlon last year, I set a goal to finish 5 races before I turn 35. That happens on Apr 30. In short, by the time I turn 35, I will have accomplished the following (in the last year and a half): Lost 20+ pounds, re-vamped my diet and nutrition, completed 2 sprint distance triathlons, one open-ocean 3/4 mile swim race, 1 5K race, and one swim/run race. I'll also be 1 1/2 weeks away from my 3rd triathlon and 5 1/2 weeks away from my 2nd open-ocean swim. If I can pull this off, I think my 35th will be happy instead of depressing. Proving to yourself that age is really just a number..... priceless.